Lover's Gaze
How ironic it is that the one thing I’ve dreamt about since my early teens is the one thing I fight my self against now. Through-out history, generals have lost battles, learning from them, and subsequently winning the war. This one battle I have faced – and clearly lost – has inflicted wounds that simply won’t heal, and although I realize that wounds do heal, they definitely will be a reminder engraved in my memory so long as I breathe. However, until these wounds heal I will continue to fight my self-being, desires, and even needs. This slowly-ending battle is a Jihad (struggle) unlike any I have ever faced in my life.
But just like any Jihad, it must be performed with righteous intentions & purpose in our hearts to attain a sweet reward. Allah knows of my intentions, and the purposes are many; I respect and honor her and her family’s wishes, I know that although this is a battle that requires sacrifice on my part, the reward (God Willing) shall be great whether attained in this life or the next, and finally the purpose of hope, hope to love and be loved in a manner pleasing to Allah. Read more…