There have been times where I’ve reached a dead end in trying to heal a relationship, justify an action, clear up a misunderstanding, or simply express my opinion, all because the person(s) involved would not talk to me. However the act of communication does not suffice on its own without all parties opening their minds and hearts. For example, I may sit down and pour my heart out regarding a subject, but if the listener(s) did not truly listen to every word and simply stuck by the conclusion made before ‘listening’ to me, it is pointless.
It should be assumed that communication includes a two-way transfer of messages AND a sincere consideration of all messages for the sake of avoiding oppression. In the end I believe that oppression is a result of ignoring that consideration.
- When a wife expresses her desire to work in the field she is passionate about, and her arguments include points that prove it would not harm nor reduce the quality of life significantly of those around her, the husband should take it into consideration. To not consider her messages is oppression against her…
- When a son pleads with his family about marrying a woman because of her good character, her morals, and her spirit, the family should consider supporting him despite their reservations about her age, or culture, or any other insignificant reason… To not consider his messages is oppression against him…
- When a daughter desires to focus her studies on fashion design because she is in love with the arts of designing clothes, and possesses a talent in creativity within this domain, the parents should consider her studying this subject despite arguments of it not being ‘logical’ financially when finding a job. To not consider her messages is oppression against her…
- When a friend does you wrong simply due to external factors which were forced upon them, you should consider listening to those factors and their apology. To not consider their message is oppression against them…
- And so on… and so forth…
Of course we should not support extremes at all, Islam is a path of moderation; although consideration should be included within communication, consideration is only valid so long as the messages do not conflict with Islam. For example, it cannot be argued that parents should consider their son’s plan to quit school simply because he states “it’s not his thing”.
The purpose behind this post is to remind myself and all my brothers and sisters reading this, that we should open the lines of communication with each other. Listen to your loved ones, your neighbors, your friends, your colleagues, everyone reaching out to you… this world would truly be a better place if we listened to each other.
– Scribbler
Sometimes people would listen closer, if the person talking actually did open their heart. Sometimes, it’s much easier to just close your ears to the inevitable and continual banter that will lead to nowhere and nothing. It’s not always a misunderstanding, but an actual knowledge of the truth within that causes someone to shy away from confrontation. Not every situation in which someone doesn’t listen to the other involve oppression… sometimes it’s just that person’s way of saving themselves any more inevitable heartbreak.
In the same sense, sometimes, the person you thought was talking to you, could be a totally different person than you imagined, and in result, the words that come out of their mouths are so very hurtful, and heart wrenching, that when you hear them, you run and hide in shame, wondering how you could have ever believed a word that came out of their mouths… and then, if that person never tried to say another word to you, you have had it proven that you were right in your retreat.
What says you about the person who wears the mask? Should the other still work so hard to communicate when they make no effort whatsoever?? It is true that as Muslims, and as people in this society, we do not make enough effort to understand those who engage with us, and assume far too much, but there are also outside forces that give us the impressions that lead to those decisions dont you think?
thank you for your comment LS… I suppose you’re speaking of a more ‘specific’ topic… and yes I totally agree about the outside forces leading us to impressions. Glad to see you participating on here again.