422364_lonelyI mentioned in my previous post that I will try to practice ‘clearing my mind’ in order to focus on any particular matter that needs to be addressed; amazed am I at how soon thereafter I benefited. One of the many threads of thought troubling me was that of one lingering between my heart and mind; the thought of a woman I am / was in love with. After clearing my mind and reseting my senses I was able to blow away some of the clouds affecting my vision, and focus.

Some facts. I am in love with someone who is not able to love me back. I am in love with someone set to wed another man. I have a child who needs the type of love that only a nurturing woman can give. I am lonely. I need to love and be loved.

I can hurt now, or I can hurt later. Why not now? Indeed, why not now? She is on her way towards a life of happiness (insha’Allah) with a man who loves her, and whom she loves, and I ask Allah to bless them both. It is time I do the same. But naturally one asks why? What was the point? What purpose did our love serve? Why experience years of hardship to make ‘us’ happen only to let go in the end? After a little time of reflection simplicity arose; life.

Our persons are formed by a bundle of events and emotions experienced through out our lives, and naturally some experiences are pleasant and others extremely difficult to face. However, it is typically the difficult experiences that make us stronger. So why not now? Why don’t I hurt now, only to become stronger for the next time around? I think I will (insha’Allah).

It truly is strange though Subhan Allah, how despite my efforts to orchestrate our love to be all it can be, it was not to happen in this life. As a Muslim I will have faith in what Allah wills for me. However what is important is that we exert our efforts in everything we do in this life to be all we can be. Be all you can be, never lose faith in Allah’s decree no matter how difficult life may seem, and pray for Allah’s aid; as weak slaves we are in need of Him. I ask Allah to ease our suffering, and to replace it with sweetness… Ameen. Ameen. Ameen.

We need Him (subhanaho wa ta’ala). I need Him. 🙁

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