Few days ago we had some family friends over for lunch. It was a nice gathering of close friends, including a young couple with a young child, and lots of talk of weddings to come in the summer. The afternoon was filled with talks revolving around the topics I love most; family, love, children, and happiness. My mind however was fixated on the topic of children, my children, and the woman who I will have the pleasure of sharing such blessings with.

I simply could not get out of my head the thought of me having children with a woman I love. An ever so patient woman who is loving and caring to me and my children, a woman who puts Allah before any of us in her dealings with us (knowing that by doing that it is what’s best for us all). A woman who will earn the respect of her husband and children. Although I respect the fact that a woman is capable of holding a child within her womb for 9 months, followed by the intense experience of giving birth, a woman must continue to earn that respect by loving and caring for her children to the very end.

Allah the All Mighty makes frequent mention of honoring our parents, and the mother in particular:

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years – give thanks to Me and to your parents, – unto Me is the final destination. But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.” [Luqmaan 31:14-15].

We also know the famous hadeeth regarding the high position of our beloved mothers:

According to a hadeeth narrated by Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him): “A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, who among the people is most deserving of my good companionship?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then whom?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then whom?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then whom?’ He said, ‘Then your father.’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4/13, and Muslim, 2548).

I would like to conclude with the following, although these evidences are relating to the mother, it is also important to note that our wives are mothers, our sisters are mothers, our aunts are mothers, even our daughters are mothers; without a doubt levels of respect are different depending on the position of the woman (mother, daughter, etc…), but the one that I speak of in this post is my wife (to be insha’Allah).

I reach out to my brothers to treat their Queens with respect and dignity, to love them, and to be kind with them. If they have deviated, done wrong, or fallen short from earning our respect, step up to the plate as a man through your kindness to lead her into that which is good. 

“And from His signs is this: That He created for you wives amongst yourselves, so that you may find serenity and tranquility in them. And He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in this are signs for those who reflect.” [Sooratur Room 30:21]

Al-Haafidh Ibn Katheer (d.774H) – rahimahullaah – said whilst explaining the terms muwaddah and rahmah which occur in the above aayah:

Al-muwaddah means love and affection and ar-rahmah means compassion and pity – since a man takes a woman either due to his love for her, or because of compassion and pity for her; by giving to her a child from himself…”

Ibn Katheer (rahimahullah) explains it so perfectly; Al-Muwaddah means love and affection, and ar-rahmah means compassion and pity. I used to hope of entering a marriage based on the love and affection – muwaddah – which is mentioned in the verse, but now I’m not so sure if it will be based on that, or simply ar-rahmah (mercy); either way I hope that when I do get married insha’Allah (God willing) it will be rewarding, beneficial, and satisfying to all involved (including the families).

And finally, I’d like to share with you an example of the actions from a woman worthy of respect; our beloved Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her):

The unique stance that the Prophet’s (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) wife Khadeejah – radiyallaahu ‘anhaa – took, had a huge effect in calming and reassuring the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), when the angel Jibreel (‘alayhis salaam) first came to the cave of Hiraa. So the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) returned to Khadeejah (radiyallaahu ‘anhaa) with the first Revelation and with his heart beating and trembling severely, and he said to her:

“Cover me! Cover me!”

So she covered him until his fear was over, after which he told Khadeejah (radiyallaahu ‘anhaa) everything that happened and said:

“I fear that something may happen to me.”

So she said to him:

“Never! By Allaah! Allaah will never disgrace you. You keep good ties with the relations, you help the poor and the destitute, you serve your guests generously and assist those who have been afflicted with calamities.”

Where are the Khadijah’s of our time? God Bless.


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